I've wanted a job in Erie for over two months. Why has this been so hard? I'll try to explain from reasons I've learned:
-It's a manufacturing town.
-It's a small town who thinks 9$ an hour is the cats meow
-I'm prideful and don't think I should settle for the cats meow
I've been struggling over the last few months. I kept declaring to anyone who would listen that I just graduated college and deserved a "real" job, not these Erie jobs. And you know what? That has really come back to haunt me. And I'm actually thankful for it.
It's been 2 months now that I have been searching for a job- that means absolutely no money coming in- and a lot of money going out (bills, groceries, etc)
During the long wait, I asked God repeatedly what was I supposed to be learning through this? I waited, prayed, and waited some more (2 months to be exact). This wasn't easy- i started getting anxious and feeling that I wasn't good enough- I put my worth in my ability to perform.
One day I asked the question out loud to Duke- I asked, "Babe what do you think I'm supposed to be learning through all of this?" And in that moment, I know the Lord spoke to me through Duke (although I did get offended :/) -he said he thought the Lord was teaching me to be humble- and to put my pride to the side. WOW. That felt like a ton of bricks coming from two men that I love the most. But I'm thankful- not even sure if Duke knows that- but I am so thankful.
The reality is that I kept waiting for bigger and better opportunities to come along, to just knock on my door. Well that was enough. I finally applied, and was accepted for a position, one that I wasn't sure I wanted (see the pride?) - but to tell you the truth- it was the best thing I have done. I haven't started, so this blog is still premature, but I am so thankful that God took time to reveal to me some of my ugly colors.
I need to work hard-without shortcuts. I am not an exception.
I wanted to share this with you because I don't think I had ever been honest when I was asked what I was doing for work.. and if this is supposed to be a lesson- then I believe it's worth sharing.
Plus it's not like I made a good housewife either- I mean I actually burned pasta today- WHO BURNS PASTA!?!?
Last side note: We are also so excited to have our friends Shannon + Craig Mossing come visit this weekend- they always make us laugh, and are a great example of genuine happiness. They are our first (non-family) guests:)